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January 5, 2011

Season 2

01. White Mages are Jerks

The best defense is a crappy offense.

January 5, 2011

02. Mega Man Needs To Go

To be the number 1 robot, you need a place to go number 2.

January 7, 2011

03. Mortal Kombat Friendship

The greatest thing one friend can do for another is not murder him.

January 14, 2011

04. Lifeguard Mario

No holding down B in the pool area.

January 14, 2011

05. The Mario Bros. Go Halfsies

Sharing is caring. Unfortunately, caring won't help you much in videogames.

January 18, 2011

06. Mortal Kombat Pervert

Every ninja's dream: two girls at the same time.

January 19, 2011

07. Mario Paint Torture

Don't even get him started on Creed.

January 25, 2011

08. Excitebike Shop

Overheating is radical.

January 26, 2011

09. Double Dragon Girlfriend

8 bit blood is thicker than 8 bit water.

February 1, 2011

10. Castlevania S&M

It's hard to beat a boss when he's into it.

February 3, 2011

11. Angry Birds Friendship

Angry birds and pigs have a lot in common. For example, neither can fly for some reason.

February 8, 2011

12. Sonic's Gambling Problem

What happens in Casino Night Zone stays in Casino Night Zone.

February 11, 2011

13. Resident Evil Roommate

This is what happens when you find a roommate on Craigslist in Raccoon City.

February 14, 2011

14. Crashing the Silent Protagonist Party

He was the least and most annoying bandicoot at the party.

February 15, 2011

15. White Mage Dad is Racist

Guess who's being randomly encountered for dinner.

February 22, 2011

16. The Koopa King's Speech

He's a t-t-t-t-terrifying ruler.

February 24, 2011

17. Metal Gear Solid Box Trouble

No details

March 1, 2011

18. Rejected Sega Intros

He'd be a great voiceover artist if he didn't have to read or talk.

March 1, 2011

19. Everybody Hates Crono

They'll do anything to save him. As long as it's not too much work.

March 8, 2011

20. King Hippo Disgraces Hippo People

No details

March 8, 2011

21. Cammy's Dad (Street Fighter)

If she's going to street fight, she'd better do it like a proper lady.

March 15, 2011

22. Chargin' Chuck Gets Picked Last

He's game ready. And really, really desperate.

March 16, 2011

23. The Horrible Secret Behind Starter Pokemon

This is almost as cruel as keeping them in a tiny ball.

March 21, 2011

24. Kazooie is Kidnapped

Living in a backpack is the least of her worries.

March 22, 2011

25. Final Fantasy Cover Bard

We'd use the sprites from Final Fantasy 1, but he doesn't do originals.

March 29, 2011

26. The Mushroom King

"Thank you, father! But our respectable suitor is in another castle.

April 1, 2011

27. Robotnik Breaks Down

Never buy a pre-owned drillcar.

April 5, 2011

28. Ken Gets Excited

He's a master of the "Hadouken" and "Waistband" technique.

April 5, 2011

29. Doodle Jump Fall

The higher they jump, the farther they fall. And fall. And fall.

April 12, 2011

30. Link's Death

Our heart containers go out to his family.

April 18, 2011

31. Ice Climbers Cliffhanger

He had his whole extra life ahead of him.

April 18, 2011

32. Mario's Horrifying Discovery

What happens in the warp zone, stays in the warp zone.

April 20, 2011

33. Rampage Apology

Forgive and forget. Unless they just punched through a skyscraper.

April 25, 2011

34. Mario With A Portal Gun

The shortest distance between two objects is a straight line. Or a portal.

April 26, 2011

35. Ecco's Friends Are Stupid Dolphins

They say dolphins are only slightly less intelligent than humans. And humans are pretty dumb.

May 4, 2011

36. Donkey Kong Doesn't Back Down

You shouldn't run away from your problems, especially if you can beat them in a fight.

May 10, 2011

37. Sheik Crashes a Bachelor Party

You don't need the tri-force of wisdom to realize this won't turn out well.

May 12, 2011

38. Noob Saibot is a Noob

He's gonna kick your ass. Right after he reads the move-list.

May 16, 2011

39. Angry Birds vs. Tiny Wings

Imitation is the sincerest form of ornithology.

May 17, 2011

40. How Blinky Died

He's got a few ghost skeletons in his closet.

May 18, 2011

41. Mario Goes Down The Wrong Pipe

No free coins. No extra lives. The only way out is the reset button.

May 24, 2011

42. Mortal Kombat Sitcom

They're going to kill you....

May 24, 2011

43. Captain America Uses Drugs

He's as American as apple pie injected with super steroids.

June 2, 2011

44. Starcraft SCVs Go On Strike

Not enough minerals? MINE THEM YOURSELF.

June 8, 2011

45. The Diablo Townspeople Should Move

You'd be amazed at how much living next to Hell will affect your property value.

June 10, 2011

46. Kung Lao's Hat is Dull

The only thing worse than having your head chopped off is having your head mostly chopped off.

June 14, 2011

47. Mario Meets With His Agent

He'll take you to the next level for just 10% of your coins.

June 15, 2011

48. Sim City Monster Hates Your City

I think we can all agree that gridlock is the real monster here.

June 20, 2011

49. Contra Henchman Strategy

They're not the best strategists, but they'll run at you like nobody's business.

June 22, 2011

50. Mario Dumps Pauline

"It's not you, it's me....and the fact that you're not a princess.

June 27, 2011

51. Plants vs. Zombies Wall-nut Gets Bitten

Teamwork is infectious.

July 7, 2011

52. If Classic Games Had DLC

Back in my day, fireflowers were only a nickel.

July 7, 2011

53. Link to the Past with a Portal Gun

When life gives you the Triforce, make Triforce grenades.

July 11, 2011

54. Sonic Meets With His Agent

The fastest thing alive meets the smoothest talker alive.

July 12, 2011

55. Falco Adjusts His Attitude

"Gee, I've been saved by therapy. How swell.

July 21, 2011

56. Ghosts 'n Goblins Blacksmith

No details

July 22, 2011

57. Inbred Yoshi

His face has a lot of character. Horrible, deformed character.

August 2, 2011

58. Koopa Troopa Does Stand-up Comedy

Even seasoned comedians occasionally bob-omb.

August 2, 2011

59. Samus Meets With Her Agent

Behind every great woman there's an awful man trying to get her in a bikini.

August 10, 2011

60. Mega Man With a Portal Gun

Dr. Wily wants him gone.

August 11, 2011

61. Sonic Wasn't Fast Enough

Speed runs save lives.

August 15, 2011

62. Dr. Light's Gift to Mega Man X

It's better to give than to receive a terrible present.

August 16, 2011

63. Mortal Kombat Sitcom: Shao Kahn Comes to Dinner

No details

August 23, 2011

64. Chill Penguin is Chill

He's not big on using shotgun ice, but he's always down to shotgun Natty Ice.

August 24, 2011

65. Tifa Embarrasses Barret

It's not the size of your gun arm that counts, it's how you use it.

September 2, 2011

66. Tails Can't Die

One fox, two tails, unlimited lives.

September 6, 2011

67. Smash Bros. Fatalities

The ESRB may have to reevaluate their rating.

September 9, 2011

68. Mega Man X Charges Too Much

If at first you don't succeed, destroy everything.

September 12, 2011

69. Judgmental Mortal Kombat

Nothing's more dangerous than stereotyping. Except maybe Goro.

September 13, 2011

70. A Boy and his Blob Reunion

You don't need jelly beans to transform into a productive member of society.

September 23, 2011

71. Luigi Wears Red

Imitation is the sincerest form of douchebaggery.

September 23, 2011

72. Captain Falcon Can't Get Insurance

That's the last time he'll drive while eating Falcon Lunch.

September 26, 2011

73. Diddy Kong Country

Player 2 has Player 1 aspirations.

September 28, 2011

74. NBA Lockout Jam

The only dunking he's doing involves cookies and milk.

October 4, 2011

75. Bahamut Wants to Hang Out

You will rue the day you summoned him.

October 11, 2011

76. Mistaken Hero Identities

No details

October 11, 2011

77. Mario's Mushroom Mix-up

Doubling in size instantly is bad for your health.

October 17, 2011

78. NES Ninja Turtles Theme Song

These Dorkly boys don't cut em' no slack.

October 18, 2011

79. Robotnik Finally Wins

This isn't the game over he asked for.

October 24, 2011

80. Mario is a Furry

If you wear a raccoon tail long enough, people are gonna get the wrong idea.

October 25, 2011

81. The Frogger Menace

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And gigantic, car-sized frogs.

November 2, 2011

82. Bastion Narrator Invades Other Games

Initializing raspy voice mode...

November 3, 2011

83. Vision Wants to be in the Avengers Movie

You've got to draw the line somewhere. Preferably behind the badass laser robot.

November 8, 2011

84. Double Dragon Dad

It's called tough love. Very, very tough love.

November 8, 2011

86. Chrono Trigger Time Travel Mix-Up

Don't cross the (time) streams.

November 15, 2011

87. Mario Responds to PETA

No animals were harmed in the making of the Tanooki suit.

November 23, 2011

88. Link's Yard Sale

Nothing like a little Spring inventory cleaning.

November 23, 2011

89. Gordon Freeman Meets With His Agent

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out with your shrill, horrible voice.

November 28, 2011

90. Boos Man Up

Night of the living dread.

November 29, 2011

91. Spy Hunter Pranksters

Never trust the guy in the van.

December 5, 2011

92. How Diablo Destroyed Tristram

No details

December 6, 2011

93. Pac-Man Plays Skyrim

Psh, you can talk to your family anytime.

December 12, 2011

94. QWOP Guy Has Sex

It's all in the limbs.

December 14, 2011

95. The Night Before Mario's Christmas

Not a creature was stirring, not even a Mouser.

December 19, 2011

96. It's a Wonderful Extra Life

A toast to Luigi: The richest Player 2 in town.

December 19, 2011